7 June 2008
Tough Decisions…
Posted by Robin Easton under: Hobnobbin' with Robin .
Many years ago I recognized the distress and deadening of spirit when I stopped the flow of my life by not making tough decisions. We humans often stop our essential “life-flow” when we don’t allow ourselves to make a choice for fear it might be wrong or bad, for fear of losing something or someone, for fear of being alone, for fear of making a mistake we can’t undo, for fear of not knowing what we want or where we’re going. We sometimes become completely immobilized when confronted with tough decisions.
When we’ve done all we can to try and make a decision, but we’re still grinding ’round and ’round, we might want to put the issue on the back burner for awhile (if we’re able to). If that brings no resolution then we might have to dive in and make a blind choice so that our lives once again flow forward. Sometimes it’s the only way. It’s a lesson in trust…embracing the Great Unknown.
So much of life is about learning from our mistakes and choices. They’re a necessary and integral part of our development and life exploration. Most of us aren’t born with the wisdom of a fully lived life behind us. It’s tragic when we become immobilized and stop living because we’re afraid to make tough decisions. When we need to choose but don’t out of fear our whole life stops. We wound the soul by repressing its need for growth, freedom and fluidity.
I’ve often found that I’m alone when it comes to my toughest decisions. I have good friends to share my deepest thoughts and feelings with, but they can’t make decisions for me. There are some decisions that only I can make. Tough decisions are the ones where we step off the cliff and jump waaaay out into the UNKNOWN. We have no idea where we’re going. We’re forced to trust that there’s some safety net or something larger than us that will keep us safe. Sometimes we don’t even feel that, and must still jump. We tend to think we’re no longer babies, but in essence the way we learn is still the same. We’re all babies moving through our world touching the hot burner, stepping out the front door and falling down the stairs, sticking a bobby pin in the electrical socket, and so forth. If we allow our lives to keep flowing we’ll always learn…just like a curious child.
Our souls and spirits are like rivers that must flow forever forward. Like the river, we’ll come up against rocks, dead branches, dams, mesas and places where the river forks and must flow right or left…or both. We’ll always run into obstacles and tough decisions. That’s part of living fully. 
We must still flow forward so we don’t stagnate like water trapped in an eddy, swirling ‘round and ‘round, water that never flows down stream, never goes home to the grand sea. We ARE the river. So have faith. Step into the vital current of LIFE. Make the tough decisions you face, even if you don’t know where you’re going. That’s what makes tough decisions…tough. That’s what makes you brave. That’s what makes life an adventure. Let go and discover yourself in the freedom of wild untamed rivers.
I wish you GREAT freedom.
You deserve nothing less.
Love,
Robin
PS:Maybe next week I’ll have my Chaco Canyon photos sorted. Thanks for bearing with.
This Site: © Robin Easton
Website: http://www.nakedineden.com
Blog: http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/
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DEDICATED TO:
ROB’S MEGAPHONE: http://www.blogcatalog.com/blogs/robs-megaphone.html Robert Stevenson is a journalism professor, and a writer. This piece is dedicated to him because I asked him for info on how to write shorter posts and he wrote a piece titled, An Exercise in Brevity, which you can read here http://robertstevenson.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/an-exercise-in-brevity/. From now on I am going to make an effort to write shorter posts. I’ve gone from 1200 words down to 650+. Rob is more than a writing teacher, he is one of those people who is kind to everyone. He is also helpful, warm and very sincere. You will enjoy his site because he not only teaches writing but he is funny and spontaneous. I bet his students love him and end up REALLY learning. Thanks to you, I did it, Rob. At least it’s a start. 
This Site: © Robin Easton
Website: http://www.nakedineden.com
Blog: http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/
29 Comments so far...
Stacey Huston Says:
7 June 2008 at 8:10 pm.
Robin, once again you are so correct in this post.. people who are scared to take chances are only existing; they have forgotten how to or are afraid to “live”.. and I mean REALLY live with their whole being.
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Lilly Says:
8 June 2008 at 2:09 am.
Lovely to see you back and I cannot wait to see your photos Robin. Fear is a paralysing it is true. I was a bit like that for a long while. I like what you say about the fact we are alone when it comes to the big decisions. We truly are and for some of us who lack some confidence that is hard to get your head around. Personally I have found that pain has actually nourished my courage in truly wonderful ways. The more chances you take, the more mistakes you may make, the more you have the opportunity to grow and the braver you become. I love being brave. I feel I am braver than I have ever been in my life. Bravery doesn’t come naturally to us all (and some it really does, like my daughter who was born to really live every second of her life and jump from cliff to cliff). Some of us have to hover at the cliff for some time, before closing our eyes and jumping off. We all have to fail at times in order to practice to be brave. And sometimes I have landed in some rough currents where I have been swimming up stream frantically. Maturity and experience has taught me that its all necessary in order to eventually get to those smooth calm waters. I love your writing Robin and your take on living, truly living. Tell me, were you born brave or have you had to really learn to be brave? Have a great week!
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brainteaser Says:
8 June 2008 at 3:36 am.
Hello Robin!
Tough decisions have a 50 percent probability of being right, and 50 percent probability of being wrong. I’d take that risk anytime, rather than not make any decision at all. If my decision turns out wrong, I will still gain something — LESSON.
~Sherma
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Alexander M Zoltai Says:
8 June 2008 at 4:46 am.
This post was an “answer to prayer”–a confirmation that I done good…
Made a decision yesterday, very quickly but from great depth, that had me leaving my friends’ home just before a gathering and hiking about three miles back to my place–much more exercise than my normal-lately, “try to walk 30 minutes a day”…
First: felt supremely good testing my body and feeling my old horse still had some guts in the stretch.
Second: my best friend left a sad voice mail saying they were sorry for their actions.
Third: in a responsive email, I got to say to him what my last girlfriend said to me when she walked: It’s not you, it’s me…
Fourth: I’m caving in my snug little apartment but will be walking to the park and round and round the track to work out the muscle aches from my highly inspired hike !
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soulMerlin Says:
8 June 2008 at 5:55 am.
I find this one difficult to answer – as always, you write and express your thoughts fluidly and with great insight….What you say is indeed the only way to live, rather than exist – But a happy outcome to the leap into the unknown is not a guaranteed result (otherwise there would only be an illusion of ‘Risk’.)
Your words and philosophy are True and really the only way to go forward – but the experience and the outcome may not be comfortable and the person taking the leap must understand that the “the freedom of wild untamed rivers.” will like your photo, contain sharp rocks. Do you remember “Westworld”? the film where a man and his friend went to a “Dude Ranch” populated by robots that looked dangerous but where really “safe” – that is, until one (the one played by Yul Brynner) went on the rampage. The man learnt and developed – but it was not comfortable or in any way safe.
It’s hard to get the shading on my answer exact…..your way is really the only way…..but sometimes “the leap” is a decision to stay and endure.
I may put another response to your post later on. (you’ve got me thinking Robin)
love
henry
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Dr. Rob Says:
8 June 2008 at 5:56 am.
You are so wonderful! It’s people like you that made me want to go into teaching. I appreciate your kind words very much. I showed this to my son, who now thinks I’m famous. BTW: Anthony says Hi!
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Robin Easton Says:
8 June 2008 at 7:29 am.
@STACEY, I loved your words…”live with their whole being.” Such confirmation for me. You are so right and wise. Thank you for sharing and in just being yourself you always reflect back to me your untamed spirit. It’s a gift for me.
@LILLY This is so beautifully written and reflects the many times you have faced fear. You expanded on all the parts I took out of this post so I could keep it short. I chuckled over that and think it is WONDERFUL!! We would make a good tag team. As to your question about me….no, I was not born brave. I had a brave heart that secretly desired to jump from cliff to cliff but as a child I was terrified of almost everything. I lived in fear. As I grew older and went to the Aussie jungles I eventually decided that it was an opportunity to face my fear, but even that decision took a bit to reach. Although once made, my whole life turned around. And yes, sometimes we fall flat on our butts, but, like you, I have found that’s what has made me grow…even the pain. AND I have to say it has ALL been worth it. I’m not even the same person. I wouldn’t give back one of those painful times if it meant losing who I am today. Today I am exceedingly brave; there is very little that frightens me. I have a very healthy awareness and even caution at times and even things that evoke fear but I feel the fear and face it. I refuse to let fear control me…I tend always to face fear head on. In other words I’m not controlled by fear anymore. That is a wonderful thing to know about myself. Facing my fear is a gift I gave myself because I knew if I didn’t I’d never FULLY live.
@SHERMA How absolutely true. I think that is the key…LESSONS. I think that is the most important part of this…if we keep an open mind and heart we will LEARN. For me that is what life is about…that and loving. I also think facing our fear is one of the MAIN keys to really getting to know ourselves and living a full life.
@ ALEX I am so glad to hear that this came at the right time for you and answered a prayer. I’ve had your posts and some others do that for me at times. I am glad that you trusted your gut and it all worked out. Good for you!! Good for you for also walking 30 everyday. KUDOS my friend!!
@SOULMERLIN Yes, I remember WEST WORLD!!! And I think the fact that we instinctively know that these tough decisions can land us on our butts so to speak is the reason they are so tough. But you might want to read some of the other comments here. Your response was very clear henry and I know what you are expressing as I’ve fallen on my butt many times. I think the distinction might be that even if one falls on their butt they are living and learning….as opposed to remaining in a situation that might result in a life (or long periods of life) immobilized with fear. And yes sometimes the tough choice CAN BE to sit tight.
@DR. ROB Thank you so much for this delightful comment. I love that your son now thinks you are famous. That is just SOOOOOO endearing and wonderful. I am also touched that you shared it with him. That touched me…you must be close. You are, as I said, very kind and alive.
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Tulip Says:
8 June 2008 at 7:31 am.
Hello Robin or should I say G’day! I came here via Lilly’s Life …Lilly is a good mate but we live on opposite sides of the country. I love your blog and website, very relevant to my life and my work. I’ll be looking in from time to time to see whats happening.
Tulip
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Robin Easton Says:
8 June 2008 at 8:14 am.
@TULIP What a sweet name…Tulip. I love it. Good to meet you. Another wonderful Aussie mate! I am so glad I have you and Lilly because you are ties to a place I love and miss with all my heart. I will check out your site. And yes, please stop in any time. I am touched you contacted me.
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Too Much Coffee Man Says:
8 June 2008 at 12:39 pm.
These are true words, Robin. I’ve also been stymied in situations where I’ve made some fundamental decision but circumstances prevent me from acting on it right away. It’s a kind of karmic constipation… and it’s not like there’s learning to be had from that (as from anything0, but it’s not all that pleasant.
A good teacher of mine characterized life as walking a tightrope, and when you inevaitably slip, as we all do, you fall… on yet another tightrope.
I enjoyed your writing very much. Brevity is an art, but as a wise man once said: things should be as simple as possible, but not simpler…
Paul
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the fearless blog Says:
8 June 2008 at 2:14 pm.
Great post Robin.
Children, if we observe carefully, have a quality that as we grow older, we lose. They are innocent, daring, imaginative and unafraid. All is possible in their eyes, and with that naive sense of self they plunge forward until some “foolish” adult, like me for example, says wait, stop, be careful, no don’t do that and so on. Of course, there is danger in the world and as adults we must caution the young, guide them and serve as protectors. However, if we could see life, the way they see life and still maintain our wisdom and experience, ooooohhhh how grand our life would be.
The topic of “fear” is one I know too well. For years I lived in fear of so many things, and still today I battle with the “me” that always worries and constantly second guesses herself, trying to please everyone but myself. I have learned that avoiding those tough decisions only creates tougher decisions later. We cannot go back and change or erase the past; no one can, not yet anyway, but we can use our experience and wisdom to guide others. Our words and our actions have a tremendous impact on those around us.
Fear and hardship make great teachers. As the saying goes…if it doesn’t kill you, it can only make you stronger. I think I agree.
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Sandra Says:
8 June 2008 at 4:20 pm.
Robin,
You express yourself beautifully. As I too am long winded, I like knowing that I am in good company. As my cousin who edits a lot of my writing tells me… “She says that I am married to every word and sometimes as painful as it is, she has to divorce me from the words. It can be so hard when you passionately put yourself into your thoughts, words, and actions. Peace
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horatio salt Says:
8 June 2008 at 8:09 pm.
my decisions are sparks that drive the Personal Transformation Engine that beats inside me. they propel me along my journey from the person i am now, to the person i am becoming. i make decisions; and in turn, my decisions make me.
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timethief Says:
9 June 2008 at 10:23 am.
Your writing is clearly and succinctly reflects your inner beauty, personal growth and wisdom. I too have learned that the pattern of avoidance is a fear trap. Once we make a decision, any decision we move in the only direction that we can move — forward. Experience is an excellent teacher and if we experience consequences that we had not anticipated then we learn and we grow. If the decision needs alteration we can then change it accordingly. Alternatively, if we remain indecisive and fearful we can learn nothing because we are going nowhere.
Dale Carnegie
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
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Bird Says:
9 June 2008 at 12:44 pm.
Did you just make a tough decision, Robin? I find I have never been able to approach them with peace of mind or confidence, but once it is done, the clarity in my mind is exhilarating. I like to think that one day I’ll have the nerve to just stop procrastinating and let myself do what I have to do without too many doubts. Good luck to you and I hope you can stay with the flow of your life!
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Sandpiper Says:
9 June 2008 at 2:55 pm.
You’re so wise and so right about all of this. Sometimes I’m strong enough to just jump in, but I admit, there are times when I just let time take care of things.
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Argos Says:
10 June 2008 at 6:19 am.
Indeed we came to mutilate part of our own freedom when we use it ironically to stop advancing in life.
Having the same obstacle in life won’t help us to grow without that feeling that we are facing something unknown. How many of us think that we are moving forward, when what we are only doing is moving our feet in the same place.
We might receive a little push some lucky day, or a hint of were to go. But like you said, the decision to advance is only in each one of us.
Being conscious of oneself actions and consequences is tough huh? Ahhh, I could make good use of a little break. Wonderful post Robin, I missed visiting you. Take care!
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anthony Says:
10 June 2008 at 10:42 am.
Robin,
Nice words on Tough Decisions. I made some really tough choices last year and as you say I learned a lot about myself. I then learned what it is to really be alive. I could not have articulated as well as you have. I “stepped into the current” as you said and have never looked back.
Peace…
-anthony
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cooper Says:
10 June 2008 at 11:02 am.
A post which speaks truths. Well written and clear. I love it.
It is fear which binds so many people I know, and it does seem the fear of making the wrong choice plays a large role in lives full of indecision.
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Nards Says:
11 June 2008 at 3:34 am.
“Our souls and spirits are like rivers that must flow forever forward.” No truer words have been spoken. This is where I am now. This is where I am going….
Love, Nards
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Debbie Says:
12 June 2008 at 9:07 pm.
Your post has inspired me in many ways. Not only am I bolstered to satisfy my appetite for joy and experience, but also to communicate about them in tiny morsels so that each bite is exceedingly delicious.
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Greg Says:
13 June 2008 at 10:42 pm.
Oh, my god, who are you, my horoscope?? I’m standing on a bit of a precipice myself lately, wondering about jumping and what might happen if I did. This is very timely. How ever did you know?
As for brevity, I’m finding that a challenge here in June–there’s so much to talk about going on in the garden every day! Just photos today, though.
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JOURNEYTIME Says:
14 June 2008 at 7:09 am.
ROBIN,
another nail is spiked into the brain to keep all from forgetting their true purpose–
your analogy of life as the river is pertinent and apt–the only difference is that the river just flows and as humans we tend to get stuck in the how, the why and if we really “feel” like it.
there is always the stage where we have to take that leap or is it that circumstances decide to push us anyway!
when we are able to become less attached to the illusion of what is and discover the authenticity of who we really are then the decisions that arise are just a change in direction and nothing more and nothing less.
but then perfection is never perfect….
take care
namast
derick
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lavinka Says:
14 June 2008 at 10:49 am.
A family is helping me with difficult decisions. They aren’t making a decision for me, but they is showing their point of view to the matter. Thanks to that I can look on cause more objectively. Of greeting from Warsaw in Poland (eastern Europe)
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Calder Says:
14 June 2008 at 4:33 pm.
Wonderful post Robin. I love rivers and waterfalls so much and I enjoyed seeing your photos here. You philosophy is spot on here my friend, great read!
Smiles!
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libelula Says:
15 June 2008 at 12:27 pm.
Thank you thank you thank you!
Lately I’ve trapped myself into being afraid to make any decisions at all for fear of making a bad one (there have been so many of those) and I do find myself stagnated…which leads to more decision anxiety…and so the cycle and spiral continues.
j.–*
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Shirley Says:
15 June 2008 at 5:58 pm.
“Our souls and spirits are like rivers that must flow forever forward.” This was such a great statement I had to write it in a book I just purchased called “The Power of Positive Thinking” By: Norman Vincent Peale That sentence just jumped at me.
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Graham Says:
20 June 2008 at 3:10 pm.
I’m single at the moment and often close my eyes, hoping that somebody will make some of my decisions for me. However, it never seems to happen as when I open my eyes again, the options are still there staring at me.
Sometimes I feel tired of being an adult and wish I could turn back time and become that innocent child again. I am at a point in my life, where sometime soon I have to make some big decisions before it is too late. This past two years has taught me three things: 1) To value “today”, 2) Not to regret “yesterday” and 3) Not to worry about “tomorrow”. However, putting these theories into practice is sometimes a challenge in itself.
Robin, one of the many many many things I adore about you is your ability to put thoughts and feelings into words. The ability to step outside and look in. You are so inspirational. I wish I could bottle up your muses and carry them around in my pocket, to open them in a time of need.
Big hugs from a friend
Graham x
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Griselda Says:
28 March 2010 at 7:44 pm.
HI, I’m Griselda and I am a senior in high school. I’m having problem choosing between my boyfriend who I have been with for three years and going to a two year college, then to a two year university, or going to a four year university that is about an hour away and being far from him. It’s just been hard, because even though I am young, I do feel that he and I have great potential to go far. And yet, I am afraid that the distance will separate us. As much as I want to sit here and make myself believe that everything is gonna perfectly work out, I have to admit to myself that we might become distant. I mean with school, work, friends, etc. it is going to get difficult. And its not like we can expect everything to have a cherry on top, so much can happen in the first two years after high school! I completely understand all you say about taking a jump into the unknown, the only problem is that I still can’t choose, and it’s become so stressful and hard on me. I only have a month to decide, but I want to know that I am making the right decision. Any advice I can receive would be very appreciated. Thank you.
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