25 October 2009
When I Die I Want…
Posted by Robin Easton under: Hobnobbin' with Robin .
If You Love Me: Carry Me Outdoors to Die: A video about Nature’s beauty, and Life and Death. Where would you choose to die if you had a choice? And what would you want done with your physical body? Click “play” then “pause” to let video load while you read post.
Do I please my family or myself?
This is part two of a five part series titled: Five Perspectives on Death. To read part one click: Through My Mother’s Eyes. Now for part two: My husband and I talk as openly about Death as we do Life. It’s not something we avoid. It just IS. A few weeks ago we were in the car and I was telling him about an honest gutsy post my friend Dorothy wrote over at Grammology, titled “Don’t Tell Anyone When I Die” (click title). In this post Dorothy openly talks about what she wants done with her body when she dies. She also raises the issue of how her family feels about this. The resulting discussion goes on to explore whether she has the right to have her last wishes fulfilled or whether she should meet the wishes and emotional needs of her family, which are different from her own. How do you feel about this?
When I Die I want…
As I shared this with my husband we went on to explore how we’d each like to die, given the choice. We also agreed that it was important to fulfill the needs of the dying person, when humanly possible. We feel it helps put them at ease while they’re living. We also talked about what we’d like done with our bodies. My husband is Native American and believes that any body parts, pulled teeth, severed limbs (if he were in a car crash), and so on must be with him when he’s cremated so that his spirit can rest. Although I relate to this I hold in profound respect people who donate eyes and other organs. With child-like wonder my sweetheart said, “I’d like to be cremated, my ashes put into a Choc-Full-o’-Nuts coffee can and shot into outer space. The can would also contain a light activated computer chip that plays “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie and instructions on how to make a good cup of human coffee.”
Of course I burst out laughing and said, “Well, if you happen to die first and I’m unable to get you shot into space, I mean on the off chance there aren’t any rockets scheduled that day, what is your second choice? “Well,” he said, “I’ll have to think about it because I have my heart set on being shot into space.” I just love this man. He makes me grow, laugh and cry (tears of joy) every single day. I figure if worse comes to worse I can buy one of those big remote control rockets and send his ashes into space from his favorite mountain top.
Then he asked what I wanted. I said, “Cremation makes me cringe. All that fire. Yeow! I know. I know. I’ll be dead, but it still makes me cringe. And the thought of being buried six feet under suffocates me, plus it’s a waste of good earth. He chuckled and said, “So what do you want?” I thought a minute and said, “I want to die in the wild on Mother Earth with just a few close friends with me. Once I’m dead put me in a tree, way out on the branches or else on a high platform. Face me east to catch the first rays of morning sun. I don’t care if birds come and peck at me. That doesn’t bother me. In fact, to become part of them feels totally free to me.”
Courage, Love and Warm Humor – Even in Death
The only thing that bothered me about dying in the wild was maggots. LOL!! I told him I’d have to die in the cold of fall or winter when the flies aren’t out. Or maybe with time I could adjust to the flies. He held my hand while we both laughed and cried. We both know that every…single…moment of Life is a gift, an incomprehensible mystery. Even the hard moments.
The humorous aspects of our discussion brought to mind my friend David, an indomitable spirit. He was almost seventy and dying of cancer. When he finally was hospitalized he knew he had only weeks, maybe days left to live. Although he was in agonizing pain he secretly asked a friend to go buy as many weird hats as she could find, a hat that looked like the “Cat in the Hat” hat, a jester hat, an antlered hat, fish hat, blinking light hat, devil hat, angel hat and so forth. You name it he “hat” it.
He hid the hats under his bed and each morning the nurse on duty found him propped up in bed wearing his hospital gown and a goofy hat, acting like everything was normal. The nurse would burst into laughter, as would David. All the nurses fell in love with him and could hardly wait to see what hat he’d wear next. David consciously chose to die in a goofy hat filling all those around him with love and laughter. They never forgot him.
How do you want to die? What do you want done with your physical body?
NEXT WEEK: We will take a look at what happens “When We Don’t Speak of Death”
Love,
Robin
Related Articles:
Through My Mother’s Eyes
This Site: © Robin Easton
Website: http://www.nakedineden.com
Blog: http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/
72 Comments so far...
Trish Scott Says:
25 October 2009 at 3:35 pm.
I used to sell pre payed burial/funeral plans. It was really fun planning the funeral services. One couple forgot the name of their favorite song so they called the local DJ to ask the name of the tune they would like played at their funeral, “It goes like this…” One man, when asked if he would like to have his glasses on or off for the viewing closed his eyes and took off his glasses then put them on again asking which way looked better 
. It’s been a long time but some things just stick in your mind. I was in Salt Lake City at the time so one of the great burial jokes for us non Mormons was, “Why do they bury Mormons 8 feet under? Because deep down they are good people.” A laugh riot that job!
As for what I would like, I don’t care. Whatever works for the living is fine with me. Thanks for the smiles.
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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Says:
25 October 2009 at 3:59 pm.
I have no attachment to dead bodies, cremate me ASAP before the law requires embalming. Sounds unceremonious, I know. But the last thing I want is a fuss over a lifeless body. All of my family members died within a five year period, and this was how I handled it. I want to be remembered a someone who was very much alive. Life is for the living!
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 7:34 am
Dear Jonathan, I had no idea that “the law” was pushing for embalming. Wow, for me that is horrible. I think cremation is highly practical as long as billions of people aren’t throwing ashes into rivers and lakes. Also, nothing you said here sounds unceremonious to ME at all. Not even close. I think it is highly practical and what worked in your family and life.
As you know, I too am a great believer of living life fully. I do think that any ceremonies that are carried out upon someone’s death are for the living, not really the dead, whether that ceremony be a celebration feast, a service where people all share and talk about the person they loved, or something different. I think these types of gatherings can sometimes act as a transition for people to adjust to their loss, and to do so in an environment where they don’t feel so alone in their loss.
Surprisingly I’ve never been to a funeral or such service, but prefer to embrace the death of a loved one in my own way, which is usually VERY private and usually in nature. When my father died I was over seas, but when I later returned I climbed his favorite mountain and spent the day up there alone. It was beautiful and I felt so close to him. He is still with me, part of me.
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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
I don’t know about the other states, but in Oregon, if the body isn’t cremated within 24 hours it has to be embalmed. Of all the things that could happen to a body, being embalmed feels the most repulsive to me. I know that some people need to see a dead loved one buried to get closure, and I respect their feelings, but I like the ashes to ashes, dust to dust, as fast as possible route.
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Jonathan - Advanced Life Skills Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
PS. My other option is to make a 3′ wide, 8′ deep post hole, Stand me up in it, and plant a Giant Sequoia at the top of the hole. I’ll be a tree!
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Geez, I’m making sure that someone either cremates me pronto or drags my sorry carcass out to the wild and leaves it for the wild creatures I love so much. Embalming is not for me. Although, like you, I do respect others feelings and feel no need judge.
What is SO cool is that if you read below under VIn’s comment I told him earlier today that I think my other choice is to bury me in the earth (sans casket – don’t like caskets – waste of good trees and plant a beautiful pine (love the sound of wind through pines) or other hardy tree on top of me. I would LOVE that. That is so cool we both thought of that same option. Imagine if everyone did that we’d do as Vin said, give something back to the Earth that has sustained us. And we would cover the Earth with beautiful trees…instead of continuing to cut them down.
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Tara S. Dickherber, M.Ed, CPC Says:
25 October 2009 at 4:13 pm.
When I die I want any and all possible organs donated, cremate me, and spread me out in a pasture to fertilize the field for the horses and cows. And I DO NOT want to be on life support. Someone can just “trip” over the cord and pull it out of the electric socket…
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 7:38 am
Dear Tara, See? You are so amazing. Because of you someone may see again, or go off dialyzes and live a healthy normal life, or have a heart transplant. I honor you for this Tara and am moved by your choice. You are a blessing. I love the thought of you fertilizing the horse and cow pasture. AND YES, I too do NOT want to be on life support. I laughed out loud when you said someone can just trip over the cord… You are a gem Tara.
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William Tan Meng Says:
25 October 2009 at 8:02 pm.
This video tell us some valuable things. As I know that all have to die one day, without breathing, we are dead.
If I have the choice, I like to die in the quiet place, leave this world peacefully. After viewing the video, I KNOW I have to live happily with the purpose while I am still in this earth.
Thanks for the video, have the nice day.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Dear William, Welcome to “Eden”! Thank you for sharing here. I love this comment. I think we all wish to die peacefully, I know I wish this. And yes, my friend, you GOT the point of the video. It is NOT a video about death; it is a video about LIFE. It is, as you say so beautifully, a reminder that we must live FULLY while we are alive, “while we are still on this earth”. Thank you for your insight and for moving through the world with your eyes and heart open. Have a great week!
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Walter Says:
25 October 2009 at 8:29 pm.
Robin, before we feed you to the worms, I think it would be nice if we all could come together for a grand pow wow. A week of singing dancing and feasting. Who knows, it could be our last supper.
Chief Dan George Goes up to the mountain to die. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwgnDn8ez9g
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 8:00 am
Dearest Walt, I LOVE this comment and ALL the videos. They are GREAT!!! YOU are great!! That is one of my favorite songs. I’m sitting here grinning. And YES!! my dear friend we MUST have a GRAND pow pow, filled with visions and sharing,and laughter and tears, one that celebrates all of LIFE!! And the movie clip brought tears to my eyes and warmth laughter to my heart. That is how I want to die. Walt I just love you for knowing, for “seeing”, and for understanding so deeply. You made my whole week!! I am just hugging you. Thank you thank you for taking the time to give me this great gift. Bless you! You are a true maverick!!!
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Wilma Ham Says:
25 October 2009 at 10:05 pm.
Robin, your beautiful video, your voice, your words, your music describes life to me, NOT death.
That makes me realize that death is life, as life is death. Die how you live, and as I aim to live beautifully, I aim to die beautifully. As I honor life and the divine, I aim to honor life when I die and to show the beauty of life by the way I die to people who are connected to me when I die.
I love the story of the man and all the hats, he met death how he lived, a generous soul who connected with the people around in life and in the moments of death.
Let my dying represent my love of life, my connection with all that is created, a harvest of all the love that has been in my life, wherever I am and whatever the circumstances.
Then do with my body what you see fit as that no longer is of any importance to me.
Hugs to you for this beautiful sharing.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Dear dear Wilma, I am hugging you right now. You KNOW!! You got it! The video is definitely about LIFE not death. Oh! Oh! Oh! I just LOVE you and your lines: “That makes me realize that death is life, as life is death. Die how you live,…” Oh Wilma, I wish I was there and could give you a big HUGE hug. You are so so wise. For me to be seen like this brought tears to my eyes. You express here SO beautifully and clearly what my humble heart tried to share with a poem, music and mere photos of the land I cherish and the rich Life I am passionately in love with. I feel, like you, once I am gone it really doesn’t matter what happens to my body. It is that I embrace Life so fully, so completely that even in my death I am vitally alive, STILL connected to Life. It Is WHY I explore death and embrace death while living; it only makes me live more fully. I will write about that in part 4 of this series titled: “Death as an Adviser”. You are a truly remarkable soul. A full fledged wise woman walking the Earth, and I am SO blessed to have you in my life. I really am Wilma, Love, Robin
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Wilma Ham Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Robin, I have no idea where the words you unleash in me come from but you do it all the time.
Your and my heart are talking and they seem to go for it.
I so value our moments here where we connect, they are beautiful, you are beautiful and I embrace this connection. I thank you for creating this space for our time together,
Hugs, Wilma
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Marcel Lemieux/starflight Says:
25 October 2009 at 10:47 pm.
A video that sent vibrations to my soul, as if i was talking…i have had a few close encounters with death ….many freak accidents and yet i always came out alive..and i remember every time saying i was not ready..to many things to do…ha-ha…well like everybody i think about death sometimes. I fantasize canoeing the Yukon river or laying down in green pastures and let nature do the rest..if i can,t do that..i shall be cremated and my ashes shall be thrown into the sea since i have a loving for it..but in the worst case scenario somehow it will respond to my nature…and my soul shall go home and i will see the big picture again and laugh …All i can say to anybody i meet, is that we are energy, a being of light, created out of a thought of love, and life is forever..when we are born we have to take in all of life, when we die we just have to let go..which one is the hardest…..
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Dear Marcel, Every time you come here I am just struck by how vast you are, how rich your life experience…and how openly you have embraced it all. I found it interesting that you’ve had the experience of saying, “I’m not ready, too many things to do…” I too have had this experience and come so close to death a few times and felt SO strongly that I was not ready, KNEW I was not ready. I just love your fantasy of canoeing the Yukon or laying down in one of the green pastures that I see in your photos. That just feels so life-filled and very much like you. I have actually read true stories of people who have done things like this, and I can EASILY see YOU doing this. You are soooooooo filled with Life Marcel that you’ve become a complete expression of Life itself. As you say, we are each a being of light…well, your light is SO bright and shines fearlessly out into the world. Because you are so humble, I don’t even know if you see how far and bright you shine. Regardless, your presence here is indeed a gift to us all. Thank you my dear Soul Brother.
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Dragos Roua Says:
25 October 2009 at 11:19 pm.
Where I live now we bury bodies so I guess I’ll follow that. To be honest, this doesn’t make the first top 5 of my thoughts, where I rather find ways to be alive, not to be dead. I have a window opportunity here and I’m all in it. What happens after this window opportunity is a matter of past. And past doesn’t exist.
I enjoy your series very much, Robin, there’s a subtle healing vibration coming out of it.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Dear Dragos, Thank you for your fascinating comment. I too am a great believer of living Life with all the passion we can. I can easily say it is the full focus of my life. Having come close to death a few times, I have found that looking at death can actually help us to live more fully. It can sometimes help us get a better handle on how we REALLY feel about Life. It can also help us better prioritize that which is most important to us. Not everyone has a handle on these things; if we did the world would not be in its current state. We (as a collective) would value FAR MORE than we do at present. I will talk more about this in part four of this series. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your wisdom here.
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Vin - NaturalBias Says:
26 October 2009 at 5:47 am.
Hi Robin,
Although it might sound strange to some, here’s another interesting perspective to dieing in the wild. As with any living organism, a body that decays in the open soil provides nutrients for new life. Each of us take a tremendous amount of such nutrients from nature to sustain our lives. Perhaps it’s only right that we give back some of what we’ve taken.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Dear Vin, I LOVE this idea. I also have thought this same thing. You just keep amazing me over and over. Are you aware that you are a very freethinker? I really admire that. My similar idea has a slightly different bent to it. I had thought that it would be so cool to put me in the ground WITHOUT a casket, just my dead body (I’m just not into the casket thing – I realized from reading your comment that it’s not being put into the Earth that makes me feel suffocated, it’s being put into a lead lined casket and then put into the ground), ANYway, what I think would be cool would be to put me in the ground and plant a tree on top of me. For my physical body to become part of that tree seems so amazing. Or even what you said, to lay me on the ground to provide nutrients for new life. You are truly remarkable Vin. As you say, SO beautifully, each of us takes so much from Nature. It feels very right if there could be a way we could give back. Ya know, Vin, you are an amazing person!! Keep thinking for yourself. Your great strength lies in doing so. This comment of yours just blew my mind.
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Nadia - Happy Lotus Says:
26 October 2009 at 1:12 pm.
Hi Robin,
Thank you so much for sharing the discussion you had with your husband with all of us. I loved it. Your desire of how you want your body to be handled reminds me of what the Tibetans do. There is something very profound about such a process. It just reminds me of the whole cycle of life and how it is all connected.
As for me, I would like to pass away doing something that makes me happy. I do not want to be sick or ill or in pain. So maybe in the midst of laughing or out on the beach and just dropping dead would be fine with me.
I would want to be cremated and my ashes spread in the ocean that surrounds Hawaii. As for my family and friends, it would have to be a celebration of life. I would not want any tears or mourning. It would have to be a fun party.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Dear Nadia, What a beautiful comment. I did not know the Tibetans did this. That is fascinating. I too love the interconnectedness of all Life. I am so glad you mentioned that, as it is something I feel very very strongly every day. Probably because I spent so much time living in the wild where if one is open they see, every single day, the interconnectedness of all things…and they feel their place in it very vividly. Yes, I could easily picture you walking the beach when you die. I too envision myself living right up to the moment of my death, and by ‘living’ I don’t mean merely existing in that I’m AM alive. I mean living fully, doing things I love and loving those closest to me and caring and laughing and crying and feeling and embracing all of Life. Like you I would want a celebration. I wouldn’t mind if people cried because I think crying and laughter go together, but I would want them to be tears of joy and awakening to the reality that LIFE itself exists, that they are a miracle, everything is a miracle, everything is a gift and not to be wasted or taken for granted. Thank you beautiful one.
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Plastic Mancunian Says:
26 October 2009 at 1:27 pm.
Hi Robin,
Sorry I missed the first part of this new series so I will leap in at number 2.
The thought of being blasted into space listening to “More Human Than Human” has massive appeal because I love rock music – although I would choose a different song – maybe “Bring Me To Life” by Evanescence which hopefully an alien race could do if my body were frozen (and they understood English – and they liked Evanescence – and they had ears to listen to the music). Knowing my luck, they would put me back together incorrectly and I would spend eternity in an alien zoo being fed rhubarb (my least favourite food).
That conjours up a bizarre image even for me…
:0)
Cheers
PM
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Dear dear PM, I’m ROFL!!!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!! LOLOLOL! Aaaah you are a dear. Love the song: “Bring Me to Life”. I am so glad you wrote this comment. Do you know why? When I was writing about my husband being shot into space, I actually, literally thought of you and thought to myself, PM would really go for that. I could easily picture you being shot into space. I REALLY did think of you. LOL!! My husband will take GREAT joy in knowing he has a fellow rocketer!! I am still laughing over the alien zoo and you sitting slumped there eating rhubarb…raw no less!! Oooooh! I’m terrible. Well, all I can say is that I hope they can unfreeze you because IF they can they will never regret it. You will keep them laughing into eternity!!! You are great and thank you for seeing the humor and going for it. You KNOW I love that. I am STILL laughing!! Hugs, Robin
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Chris Edgar Says:
26 October 2009 at 2:01 pm.
I don’t find myself having a preference for what I want to be done with me. Granted, like you, I do find myself having a preference for being eaten by birds over maggots. Ideally, maybe an exotic carrion-eating animal like hyenas.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Oh dear Chris!! Where have you been all my life!! LOLOLOL!! I LOVE this comment. If you could see me sitting here laughing my face off, out loud no less, you’d be laughing too. The hyenas really really got to me. That is hysterical! Made me wish I’d titled this: “Which carrion eater would you like to devour your remains?” Fortunately I didn’t have to do that to elicit this wonderfully funny reply. —Oh man, between you and PlacticMancunian’s comment above yours I’ve had a blast laughing, right when I needed it. Thank you for the life-giving joy Chris. It is SO healing and more often than not overlooked. Never give it up. Hugs, Robin
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Robb Says:
26 October 2009 at 2:20 pm.
Kia ora Wild Sister,
Many years ago on a trip to the Ruahine I found myself in hut beside a flooded river where because of the cloud, wind, and rain I decided to stay the night, lit a fire and sat down with a cup of tea and the hut book. The hut books are for visitors to leave their intentions in case something goes wrong, to monitor hut use, ect. They also enable people to leave observations of these mountains. This hut had been visited by a man who spent 72 hours waiting in a torrential rainstorm not long before my visit. So he filled the pages of the book with his poetry and delightful musings about his travels in the mountains, as he was now an old man, and perhaps knew his earthly time in these places grew short. The last poem he wrote brought tears to my eyes, and I wrote it down in my little notebook, which I will copy from now. It was after reading this poem that I knew how I wanted to die, how I wanted those whom I love to not worry or fear, and be in a place where my spirit can help protect what I most love.
“When You Leave Me”
When you leave me, can you leave me
where the big trees bend and sigh
Where there’s birdsong in the morning
and a river running by
I’ll find a big rock overhang
enough to keep me dry
With a gap or two amongst the trees
so I can see the sky
When you leave me, can you leave me
with a breeze upon my cheek
Where the crystal clear bush water
murmurs gently in the creek
I’ll hope the place you leave me
will have leaves to make my bed
And if I’m in luck
there’ll be a mossy bank to lay my head
When you leave me can you leave me
a billy can or two
and a heap of dry red Totara chips
so I can make a brew
I’ll live in hope a Robin
might just visit now and then
with just maybe a verse or two
still flowing from my pen
When you leave me, can you leave me
where I’ll hear a Morepork call
Where maybe there’ll be trout or two
below a waterfall
I hope that when you leave me
my mind is crystal clear
So I can picture faces
of the ones that I hold dear
And my mind will bring me visions
and the wonders I have seen
Distant memories stirring lightly
of the places I have been
Then I’ll settle down and make the most
of everything I’ve got
And you can rest contented
I’ll be happy with my lot
Mike McGee, bush poet, Ruahine ranges, Wakelings hut – 2000. Mike has since passed and I hope his wishes were honoured. I too want to become part of the mountains. Rave on Wild Sister!
Aroha,
Robb
[Reply]
Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Kia ora Robb, What an beautiful story! This whole comment is one for your book someday. I can see why this brought tears to your eyes. And why you wrote it down. It brought tears to my eyes as well. It is so openhearted and passionate. This could have been written by you my dear Wild Brother. It speaks of you and your deepest heart’s desire, which is your connection to the wild and more specifically to the Ruahines. You are not merely connected to this place, you ARE this place. I understand this so well. So do any who have BECOME the land.
When I did my video I thought of you as I often do and knew you to be one who understands the inseparable connection to Earth. It is a GREAT honor that you took the time to type out this entire poem to share with me and others here. Mike McGee was a man of heart, as are you. He saw and felt what you see and feel. And through you I connect with him. He put a message in a bottle (so to speak) and you found it. Your souls connect irrespective of death and time. Dear Robb, you ALREADY are part of those mountains and I believe you will find your final home there as well. Regardless, they are an irrefutable indelible part of you. Aroha always my Wild Brother, Robin PS This is a very sacred and cherished sharing. Thank you so much. And thanks to Mike McGee as well.
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Robb Reply:
October 30th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
KIa ora Robin,
I am honoured you thought of me when doing your video. Watching it and listening to it, I found myself almost mouthing the words along with you! Is that not cool! I understood perfectly Wild Sister.
I am off in the morning to the Ruahine. It promises to be a splendid day and evening weatherwise so I am taking my tent to camp out on the tops, and just BE. Then I will spend another night by the mountain river. I shall bring your spirit with me!
Aroha,
Robb
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Bern ~ Walking in Stillness Says:
26 October 2009 at 2:45 pm.
I see our choices of how we choose to deal with our bodies after death as a metaphor of where are consciousness resides. If people want to be put in caskets where the worms and bacteria have a hard time decomposing us back into the earth, then it shows a deep attachment to the body and a possible fear of death.
If we want the worms to get at us, it shows we appreciate the seasons that earth has to offer us.
If we want to be cremated and shot into outer space, it is a sure sign one wants to detach fully from the earth realm and return to the cosmos from where our individual spirit came. I like the idea of being but up in a tree facing the rising sun. I have heard of native americans who have their bodies put in canoes up in large trees in such a manner.
My dad gets excited when he hears about vikings and likes the idea of viking funerals where one is put upon a barge and the boat is torched upon the water. I bet it would be kinda of hard to do this these days, but what came to mind was to cremate him and put his ashes in a remote control minatureized viking boat, where out upon a lake it would burst into flames, and the ashes and the vessel would and could return to spirit.
I personally think of just walking into the wilderness when the time feels right and to fast in meditation till I can slip away from the body and return to the Stars. The body can be left undiscovered to melt back into the environment for others to feast upon. They can celebrate my life by having a healthy meal.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Dear Bern, Oh! I just love what you expressed here. It is so beautiful!! It really made me think. How astute you are. Wow, to have this whole amazingly insightful overview expressed so calmly and soothing…and without judgment was a joyous read. Your idea of just walking off into the wild is very similar to mine. I’ve pictured myself doing that.
Your thoughts on that reminded me of the Australian Aboriginal people. Most (if not all) were nomadic and traveled over great distance to follow the seasonal food. If they had a sick or dying elder they left them behind to die. Not out of cruelty, but it could have wiped out the whole tribe if they weren’t able to continue their walk to places of food. I even think that if a mother had twins that one of the twins was sometimes killed or let die as she could not carry two babies. It also would have slowed the tribe down. I think the elders who were left often sang and “prayed” and communed with Nature and the spirits they believed in or felt connected to.
Anyway, the elders who were dying were often left to die in the way you talk about here. I know some people might look upon this as cruel or disgusting to die in the wild and be food for other beings, but I find that very comforting…to return to that which bore me to life and nourished me during my time on Earth. Wow! That is just very intrinsic for me, part of the natural cycles of Life.
I also loved what you wrote about your Dad. There was both love and warm humor in that…with the miniature remote control boat bursting into flames. It was very touching for me to read all this. I felt that you spoke to my soul. Thank you Bern so much.
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Lynn Wilson Says:
26 October 2009 at 3:46 pm.
This is absolutely beautiful Robin.
Stuart Mace’s story has always touched me. He wanted to die in the woods so the animals could have his body.
I actually want to be cremated, and my daughter can do with my ashes what she pleases: keep them as long as she wants and ultimately release them in the wild somewhere. And I will have a fund for her so that she can have a gathering of our friends to send me off and be there for her at my body’s end.
Beautiful to be sharing these things.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Dearest Lynn, It touches me deeply and warms my heart that you found this beautiful, but then knowing your shinning heart that does not surprise me. —Stuart Mace’s life and story is amazing. I resonate strongly with how he feels. I also was moved to tears that you have made a fund for your daughter so she can have a gathering with friends to send you off. That really made me aware of the strong bond between you and your daughter, and even more aware of your considerate heart. —And Lynn….when you said, “It’s beautiful to be sharing these things” tears came to my eyes because I felt very connected to you, and the beauty that you ARE just seemed to flow into me. I felt it. And I know it as a gift. Thank you SO much, Lynn. Love, Robin
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soulMerlin Says:
26 October 2009 at 4:59 pm.
Dear Robin…If your dearest one wishes to die and be shot into outer space…then so be it! You must get the details sorted out at once!
I don’t fancy mouldering in the ground with maggots coming out of my ears…but neither do I wish to burst into flames. Perhaps the Tibetan way of chopping up my body into small pieces for the eagles to chomp on would be my favourite…but my sympathies for the chopper.
My Grandad said he’d like to be put on Paddy’s dust-cart and be dumped.
Perhaps that’s the best
love
henry
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Oooh henry, you really are a most delightful gem. I laughed out loud over the “so be it”. Thank you dearheart!! Then I just LOVED the humanity in you about not wanting the maggots coming out your ears, and bursting into flames. It tickled me pink that you let yourself be that honest and human, fully alive. And THEN of course I was curious as to what you DID want. But NOTHING…I mean nothing….could have prepared me for the chomping eagles!!! LOLOLOL!!! That is wonderful. I HOWLED!!
Well, all I can say, henry, is that if you wish to be chopped up and then chomped up….then so be it!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!! I can see that humor runs in the family. From Grandad in a dust cart to grandson being chopped and chomped!!
I wish you could hear me laughing right now!!
Love you, henry.
Robin
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Julie Says:
26 October 2009 at 10:03 pm.
[grinning...] My family’s talked of these things for decades, and it’s funny how each of us feels differently. Truthfully? I would prefer passing quickly, but whatever will be, will be, and that’s okay. Afterward? Heck, I won’t care, personally. I’ll be elsewhere watching over everything. I’d prefer cremation just because it’s more natural, more in keeping with Nature’s way, and because Nature’s way would be a reflection of who I am. And if I am cremated, sprinkle me on a mountain covered in trees, please. Other than that, whatever makes my family most comfortable. If they insist on a traditional funeral with casket (euuwww… maudlin), then I’ll be doing my best to send them happy vibes to help them get through it. Although, no matter what they choose to do, I would appreciate it if someone played “Over the Rainbow” sung by Iz (Israel Kamakawiwo’ole) and “Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. Those songs, by those artists, just stop me in my tracks, filling me so full of Love I feel as if I could burst…and so I do, tear up, each time I hear them. They are “me.”
Robin, I loved your video. You had a very Native American cadence and enunciation, giving a whole different weight and import to your words. It was very beautiful. The simplicity it evokes is lovely. Thank you for including that very beautiful bit of treasure.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Heeey dear Julie, Thank you for sharing your heart here, beautiful one. What I felt from this was that you wanted it easy for your family. That is so thoughtful and I agree. Since my friends and family are all pretty nature-based I think they would relate to me dying in the arms of Nature. Yes, caskets aren’t my thing either, but like you I don’t judge another. All is love anyway.
But what I really really loved about this aside from your thoughtful nature and wanting to be sprinkled on a mountain of trees is the two songs!! I too just LOVE both those songs sung by those artists. To honor your precious presence in my life (and for walking a path with me) my dear wide openhearted friend I have placed links here to both songs.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ltAGuuru7Q
Wonderful World: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnRqYMTpXHc
PS: Thank you for your kind words on my video; they touched my heart deeply. I know you relate to that all consuming relationship “with” Nature. Love, Robin
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Julie Reply:
October 27th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Okay, I’ve blown my nose 
THANK YOU, my lovely soul-sister! I’ve never seen these videos. Goosebumps and ear-to-ear smile…and the runny nose from the happy tears… I was transfixed like a kid at her first movie in the theater. Just to see their faces while singing…! I could see the love… You are SO thoughtful to have gifted us with these! Thank you, Robin. Thank you thank you. Love xoxox ~ J
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Miche - Serenity Hacker Says:
27 October 2009 at 10:43 am.
Hi Robin, your poem was absolutely moving, passionate and peaceful, too. Again, I’m so touched I almost can’t comment. I’d rather play it again, and sit in the silence afterward.
I’ve often felt that kind of connection with trees, they are so majestic, they weather everything mother nature has in store for them, and there are still there, strong, silent, and alive. You’ve beautifully illustrated so many things that I’ve thought for so many years… How did we get so far from our natural mother, and is that a big part of everything that ails us?
I have also pondered how sad it is that so many people die in such unnatural places, specifically hospitals, so sterile and cold, with machines and tubes and plastics and harsh, artificial lights. There is nothing life-affirming about them. I don’t want to be in one when I die. I also don’t want to be a burden to those I love in my dying days, either. If I become incapacitated somehow, I don’t want to stop those I love from living, whatever that may mean. I would like to take my last breath outdoors, too. Lay me on the ground and let me look up at the sky… After that, I’d like to be at a shore somewhere, as the ocean has a always been a great reminder to me that mother earth is powerful, even when we feel weak, and that she never ceases to give, even when we feel we have nothing left.
What you’ve created illustrates that the moments before and of death can be an affirmation of life, for those parting and for those remaining… and that is so profoundly, and deeply, beautiful.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Dear Miche, I’m deeply honored by your whole comment and so moved your words about my poem. I’m impressed by your choice to live with such an open heart. You are blessed with the ability to see all the many layers within this post/video and within Life itself. That means a lot to me as it is how I also live. I cherish that life is filled with layers of meaning, so many things to see, so many perspectives when we open our eyes and hearts.
We are kindred in our great love of trees. In much of my writing I raise the same question you raised here: “How did we get so far from our natural mother, and is that a big part of everything that ails us?” In the book I just finished (out sometime next year) I raise this same question…and I believe it is a HUGE part of what ails us and why the planet is being so badly abused. I put this quote from my book on Twitter the other day: “We cannot care for that which we do not revere. Take your kids into Nature.” It’s hard to connect to and desperately love that which we feel no connection to, and by connection I mean an all consuming connection, a passionate loving connect, one where we experience ourselves AS Nature, not something separate from Nature.
Your awareness and connection to the world around you is remarkable. Your love of Nature, trees, sky and ocean is palpable and filled with a deep understanding of and relationship to these things. Reading this comment was akin to reading a stunningly beautiful poem. You also helped me understand my own post and video better when you wrote: “What you’ve created illustrates that the moments before and of death can be an affirmation of life, for those parting and for those remaining… and that is so profoundly, and deeply, beautiful.” Yes!! Life in Death.
Thank you dear Miche for taking the time to share your beautiful soul here. I too was left quite speechless when I first read it. I had to reread your comment several times to take in the full richness of who you are. Hugs, Robin
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Hilary Says:
27 October 2009 at 1:51 pm.
Hi Robin .. as you know this is a little close to me at the moment – as my uncle died a fortnight ago and the funeral is on Friday: he died in a Nursing Centre theoretically with me at his side – that didn’t quite happen .. but he knew I was there I’m sure and I did arrive soon after. I’m not sure if it’s right or not .. but as I have to go to the Nursing Centre everyday still perhaps it worked the right way. We will be having a similar simple service as we had for my aunt and he will be buried in a wicker coffin, as she was.
My mother and I have discussed hers – she wishes to be cremated and then we’ll take her ashes to Penzance for a memorial service and a scattering or burying in the local Cornish churchyard with the local plants, damp earth and Cornish stones. I thought we’d have her favourite food – Cornish pasties, fresh strawberries and Cornish cream .. make it a celebration of her life for her friends and people who worked with her, as well as family.
Me – who knows after your wonderful discourses .. some of them are brilliant and made me laugh albeit with a tear in my eye .. your video is beautiful, and that poem is fantastic .. so true .. just at the moment I need to see those ahead through their times.
Great points to think about .. and mull over .. love Hilary
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Dear sweet Hillary, I thought of you after I put this post up and knew it might be painful for you and a few of my other friends. I am moved by your courage and ability to still openly share here. It brought tears to my eyes. I am really moved not only your experience with your Uncle but what you wrote about your Mother. I think that is soooo precious that you and she are able to talk about this. I found what she wants very beautiful and peaceful, and I love the idea of the celebration of her life. That type of ceremony always left me feeling joyous inside. I think it’s such a healthy thing to CELEBRATE Life.
—And Hillary, thank you for your kind words about my poem…AND for sharing so earnestly and lovingly. It reflects such a beautiful heart. You are in my thoughts through this challenging time. I am sending you love, warmth and courage (although you strike me as someone with all these qualities in abundance). Love, Robin
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Stephen - Rat Race Trap Says:
27 October 2009 at 5:40 pm.
Robin, I got a big kick reading about you and your husband’s (mainly your husband’s) wishes. I don’t think the family should decide. On the one hand it’s not you anymore so who cares? On the other how can you deny someone the ultimate ownership over their own body?
Your video was lovely of course. You are a unique soul and I love it.
I’m not too good on western birds so I’m taking a guess. Is that a mountain bluebird? It’s sitting on a fence and it looks like a bluebird minus the rusty underside.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Dear Stephen, what a JOY to see you here. I REALLY like your comment and my husband of course was tickled that you like his rocket idea! LOL!! —I am just struck by this line of yours: “On the other how can you deny someone the ultimate ownership over their own body?” I think you are the first one to say that here…at least write it right out like that. I just love the honesty of it. It made me stop and think that for some people (while alive) they may feel more peaceful, happy and maybe fulfilled knowing that a certain thing will done when they die. It’s really about the living (or while we are living). Even if once the person is dead the living are forced to change things around (for whatever reason). LOL! ….BUT theeeeen maybe for the living it is about learning a deeper level of honor, honoring the wishes of the dead…more importantly, honoring that which we CAN’T see or touch, but can only feel in our hearts, honoring the unknown. There are few initiations left in the world that teach honor. —Dear Stephen thank you for sharing SUCH a unique perspective here…and for seeing and appreciating my uniqueness as well. That brought tears to my eyes. Hugging you. Robin
PS Ooooh I love that you love the birds. It is a western bluebird. And Stephen, they are sooooo gorgeous. You would flip over them. Especially at sunset or sunrise they are almost an iridescent blue…like nothing I saw back east. Thank you my friend.
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Emily Says:
27 October 2009 at 9:46 pm.
Hey, Roby–a really lovely writing. Will watch the video later. Have always felt an affinity with the people of the North in walking out into a snow bank when the time to leave the body comes; seems as good a way to go as any. (It IS snowing here tonight!!!! No, no, I am just filling you in on the weather! LOL!). When my son was younger I would tell him when he asked me about dying that walking into the snow was a good way to go and I wonder now if that is just as acceptable to him as my telling him to drink good water, brush (and floss!) his teeth and walk in the wilderness every chance he can, all of which are such a part of him!
Or I may just walk into the desert and find a juniper to curl up under. It does not take so long for the body to go back to the Earth. And your hubby can get shot into space. Yes, I do think one of those $29.95 rockets would do just the trick. He could buy one ahead of time and customize the interior canister! Paint the exterior with day glo colors, personalize it… : ) LOL You can get a lot of rocket for $29.95! Yes, I know it is late and “She was there, she sat down on the Earth and then she was gone…it was SO PEACEFUL”. THAT is how I intend to go. Lots of love, Em
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Dear Emmy, What a SURPRISE to find you here!!! It made my whole morning. I read this out loud to “my hubby” this morning and we laughed our guts out over the whole thing. We both decided that it was time you developed a sense of humor. Hahahahaha!!!
I thought the snow bank thing that you told your “son” was not only SUCH a unique thing to tell him, but very beautiful. My “hubby” and I laughed over the idea of your son accepting death in a snowbank as easily as accepting flossing. LOLOLOLOL!!!!! I love it. Oh you gave him SO much, Emmy. Such a unique perspective on Life. We were blessed to (in many ways) grow up outside the box. It wasn’t always easy when we were younger, but I sure do appreciate it now. Just your whole comment here made me feel more REAL this morning because it reminded me of the unique things I was given.
I am just now again reading the whole $29.95 rocket thing and laughing my face off all over again. My “hubby” laughed over the customize canister and day glo colors. He was very pleased that you expanded on his initial idea. We could even pick some decals, little Mohawk fathers and tomahawks and things like that and stick them on the rocket. Though, knowing my “hubby” he would want those little miniature Orks he paints stuck on the rocket like hood ornaments. LOLOL!!!!
Okay okay I better stop or I’ll get truly carried away. Oh, I relate to the walk into the desert and curling up under a juniper; I think it’s why you will like the video. Loving you SO much and thank you from my heart dear sister. Love, Roby.
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Steven Aitchison Says:
27 October 2009 at 11:26 pm.
I’ve made a deal with my wife that she has to die first and then I can go. She wants to be cremated as she needs a lot of heat.
I would like an open casket funeral, but get an extra deep coffin, I would be dead in the bottom part and on top it would be made to look like a normal coffin but with nobody in it. When everybody came to pay their last respects I would love to see their faces when they see an empty coffin and everybody running around screaming ‘Jesus Christ, it’s a miracle.’
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Dear Steve, my husband and I cracked up over this comment. I suspected all along that you had a wacky sense of humor. I laughed out loud over: “She needs a lot of heat.” Well, cremation should do the trick. LOL! Also, when I read your comment this AM to my husband, of course our imaginations took right off. we decided with the casket thing you could have a little peep hole in the layer above you so as to watch people’s reactions, but then we realized you’d be dead, soooo that idea was scratched. Hahaha!! Steve, it is really good to see this side of you. I love it and am touched that you shared this, as I said, I KNEW it was in you. My husband and I had a wonderful warm laugh. Thank you dear friend.
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Shirley Says:
28 October 2009 at 4:57 am.
I honestly, have no idea what I want as long as I don’t turn into a crispy critter it’s all good. How do I know my wishes will even be followed through? My dear ‘ol dad wanted to be buried next to my grandmother at the family cemetery. The family wouldn’t allow him in the cemetery. No one liked him. He didn’t want cremation either and he was cremated and thrown over a hill side. I sounds horrible but I suppose when your bad deeds affect everyone it comes back to bite you.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Dear Shirley, this is true, we might not have our wishes followed. And in sharing this story of your “dear ol’ dad”, which is a fascinating story in itself, you raise a REALLY important point. If we want others to revere us when we die, we must love them, care for them, and respect them while we are alive, so when we die they feel a reverence toward us, and no matter what they decide to do with our remains they do it with love in their hearts. I really enjoyed learning this little bit more about your life. Since I know some of your history I found this quite a story..one for your book. And right or wrong, I chuckled over the way you wrote: “…he was cremated and thrown over a hill side.” You are a natural storyteller. And you have some amazing stories to tell. Thank dear Shirley.
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Zeenat{Positive Provocations} Says:
28 October 2009 at 5:49 am.
Dearest Robin,
Such a wonderful post and such lovely comments. I’m late …:(
You know my hubby and I are much like the two of you…we have talked about death and almost all our family members, have also been open enough to talk about it. All have their own opinions and wants
I laughed so hard when i read about your hubby wanting to be shot into outer space…;) I’ll bet my spirit would love that too…flying high in between the stars
I am a very religious person, and have this need to be one with my Maker. Whether it is in living or in death. To me this body is like a well tuned car (a rusty or a well tuned one is up to us)…that’s helping me on this journey to get from Point A>being born to Point B>death (physical). My soul on the other hand, knows no death..it knows only life and wonder. I do love the idea of being buried and being one with nature, and that’s what I want too. Earth to earth.
I am enjoying this series of yours so much Robin. Thank you for making us think of things we wouldn’t normally think of.
Love and hugs
Zeenat
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Dearest Zeenat, this is such a rich comment. I was pleased to hear that you and your husband can talk freely about this. And was fascinated that your family also can talk about it, even more intrigued that they all had different wishes. But then if you look at all the comments on this post they are as varied in number as there are people. I just love that because all thrown together it reflects so much humanity. I like that. I really felt something beautiful inside when you said that our bodies are like well tuned cars that get us from birth to death. If more people looked at them in this way we might be more inclined to honor then while we are living and can eat healthy and exercise and take care of our “car”. Regardless, it even made me better understand why caring for the body even in death is sacred for many people. It is a way of giving thanks that our body got us through Life. —I so appreciate your line: “My soul on the other hand, knows no death..it knows only life and wonder.” So beautiful and infinite and hope-filled. I understand this as most of my life is lived on the soul level. I also have felt the “earthiness” within you and obviously resonate with your “Earth to Earth”. Thank you dear Zeenat for your open mind and heart; you touch me over and over again with your beautiful, gentle and compassionate soul. Love, Robin
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Evita Says:
28 October 2009 at 9:10 am.
Very neat Robin – I love how openly you and your husband talk about death and dying. I think death is as much a part of life as life itself, so why not talk about it.
I love your ideas too about how you want to die – thank you for sharing those.
As for me, I don’t think I have any preferences… I know that 100% I do not want to be buried in one of those over-priced, not environmentally friendly caskets.
I was told by an intuitive who has since become a very good friend that I will let go of my body peacefully when I choose to be done with this life (i.e. be conscious in my own death) – and I loved that idea.
So for me, it is more about dying together with my husband, rather than what happens after. I like you would be happy to rest my body somewhere in nature…
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Dear Evita, Aaah a woman after my own heart: “…death is as much a part of life as life itself, so why not talk about it.” Yes, for me it is ALL Life. —That is a beautiful thing your intuitive friend told you. Someone just told me that the other day. Not here on this post but in a conversation about their death. They’d had a vision and saw themselves dying in this manner. —-I love your use of the word CONSCIOUS (in your own death). Yes! If we are conscious in Life, we are conscious PERIOD, no matter where and what we are. —I can relate to desire to want to die with your husband. You guys are so close. I feel the same. If I went first I would worry more about him than me. My husband is kindness, thoughtfulness and love personified. I do not go a day without cherishing every single moment of his presence in my life. I really don’t. —Thank you dear friend for sharing your beautiful thoughts and insights here. They are like you, lovely.
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nothingprofound Says:
29 October 2009 at 6:46 am.
I’m completely indifferent concerning the details of my death. Whatever’s least burdensome and expensive for my family. I’ve joked with my daughter about dumping me in a pool of quicksand and just letting me sink. I don’t fuss about life and I don’t see any sense in fussing about death.
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 30th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Dear “VERYProfound” I LOVE this comment. Now if that isn’t original I don’t what is!! I laughed over this and found it highly practical. I asked myself, “Now why didn’t I think of that?” LOL!! You are a gem.
As to fussing and being practical, I am oddly a weird mix of both. By that I mean, I am on one hand SO practical and solid. On the other hand I am SO passionate and emotional and romantic and creative and touchy-feely and all the rest. Both aspects are as equally strong in me. And yet it all seems to go together to create an interesting mix that is me. My husband is like this with his approach to life and it is beautiful. He just says, “It’s all life and we can embrace this too. It just is.” I find that very soothing. Thank you for sharing your delightful thoughts here.
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Meredith Says:
30 October 2009 at 9:36 am.
Hmm, quite poetic, but impractical. To live is only to have the features of MRS NERG (movement, respiration, scenes, n-something, e-something, reproduction, growth). Just like a carpet is a rug that fills the whole room, a human is an object that meets the above needs. Once they stop, the object is no longer alive, and is “dead”. Are you saying that you believe in a “soul”?
This comment wasn’t meant to be disrespectful, if it seemed that way. I’m very interested in your views
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 30th, 2009 at 10:41 am
Hi Meredith, I think I would first ask you, why YOU feel your comment might be disrespectful? I do not find another person’s beliefs disrespectful. Nor do I have any particular attachment to beliefs. If someone is rude or unkind to another person, then yes, I might find that disrespectful (or at least see someone in possible pain and see that pain spilling over onto those around them), but simply a difference in opinion I do not find disrespectful at all. The whole point of the post is to allow a space where people can share their own unique view. If you read the comments below the post you will have seen that the views are as varied as there are people. Now, I am someone who finds that beautiful and enriching….including your comment. I get to see and experience humanity. And you are another unique facet of Life speaking.
AND I could post this same post in five years time and each of these same people might have an entirely different view of Death and Life. I have not experienced Life as a static thing. So my experiences, desires and view of Life and Death and the world are forever changing, just as I am.
For me the other point of the video and post is, surprisingly, about Life…not Death. For me, to “live” is far more than to have the features of MRS NERG (as you say, “movement, respiration, scenes, n-something, e-something, reproduction, growth”). But then, we each find our own meaning and definition of what it means to be alive (or dead for that matter), and yours is as valid and fascinating as all the others. I wish you well on your journey.
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David Says:
2 November 2009 at 5:41 am.
My wife and I had some intuitive moments early in our relationship when we realized we had been together very early in the 20th century. It was a much different relationship then. She was my mother and I was a small child who soon sickened and died. A few years later she died as well. She was a painter. So sad but there is always a silver lining and we missed WWI, The Depression and WWII. In the early fifties we were both born again in much more secure circumstances. She grew up in Virginia and I grew up in Massachusetts. The fifties were, well, the fifties and not much happened but I can remember one day thinking that I would find a wife someday down in the South near the coast. And so my path turned this way. We hope to visit a small town in N. Carolina someday where the exists a small graveyard. Some of my wife’s mother’s relatives are buried there. There is a mother and little boy as well. This woman is my wife’s great grandmother. They have shared much in common including the same wonderful soul. Here in Richmond there is a painting of a large dark tree in the living room of my wife’s mother. It was done by my wife in her earlier life. I enjoy sitting and contemplating it sometime when things are quiet.
One day I was doing this when I lifted up my eyes from that shadowy tree of death and contemplated my Father who makes it all possible. I understood that I should fear no evil for He is always with me in both the bleakest and most wonderful of times. Death is just a forgetting of some things and a remembering of others.
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Robin Easton Reply:
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:53 am
Dear David, Wow!! This is a remarkable story. I was just floored reading it, riveted! I know that it comes from your heart because that is the only way you know how to share. I also know that you never share things like this lightly or glibly. So in light of that I am very moved that you took the time to tell this story. I also knew at 4 years old that I would meet my first husband. I even described him to my sister when we were 4 and 5 years old. I recognized him the moment I met him. Life is such a delightfully mysterious thing. David, something I see over and over in your writing and on your site, is your ability for great trust in life, in death, in all things. I’ve noticed this about you many times and find it very touching. You have the ability to embrace a lot, to ponder a lot, to feel a lot and it’s reflected very much in your poems. I hope you will continue to write them dear friend. Hugs Across Eternity. (As I think all things are eternal.)
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David Says:
2 November 2009 at 6:20 am.
How do I want to die? What should be done with the leftovers? Well, lets see. . . I want to die in a comfortable bed with all the ones I love around me. I would hope there would be some wonderful music playing perhaps Beethoven’s 9th or some of the music you might find at my blog Virginia Breeze. And I would like to experience Bliss one more time only differently in the sense that it would just continue to expand until it encompassed everything. No more coming back down to earth. We are going for the big ride this time and the leftovers can be burned and spread over the Chesapeake Bay. It will be a great opportunity for some of the grandchildren to take a cool ride in a sailboat.
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Robin Easton Reply:
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:38 am
Dear David, this made my laughed and smile and touched me very much because it is as human as you are. Love the Beethoven’s 9th!! And the part about bliss is very real for me. And as we once talked about, I believe we can experience this while we are living. Something I wrote yesterday: “I once let go so completely that I became part of every other thing. It was like the Big Bang of “let go(s)” for me. I’ve never been the same since. (From this experience) I have merged with something so completely that I’ve become it. I seem able to simply let go and feel my way into the world I (with my whole being). I commune with something so vast that I walk around in a constant state of “love affair with”, and it never leaves, even when my life is hard or stressed. It allows me to embrace so much, to be SO vast and unafraid. I think it has something to do with surrender.” I love how you have written about this expanding place several times in your poetry or posts. I find it very beautiful. Dear dear David, I also chuckled over: “It will be a great opportunity for some of the grandchildren to take a cool ride in a sailboat.” The magical little boy is still very much alive in you. Hugs Across the Stars, Robin
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Chrissy Says:
2 November 2009 at 7:13 am.
I have always told everyone to cremate me and put the ashes in a nice suitable spot….and have a drink in remembrance.
The one thing I did rememebr was my son had a bit of a fixation of death about the age of five…and I taught him this song, a couple of verses!
Have you ever thought as a hearse goes by
That one of these days you’re bound to die
Haha ha he hehe, how happy we shall be.
The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out
they crawl in thin and they crawl out stout
Haha ha he hehe, how happy we shall be
Your eyes fall in and your guts fall out
Your brains come trickling down your snout
haha ha he hehe, how happy we shall be
… and so on!
I think you get the idea, baaaaad mother!
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Robin Easton Reply:
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:25 am
Dear Chrissy, I laughed my head off over this!! I’d never heard it and am so joyous that you shared it. It is just the kind of thing kids love and oddly aren’t disturbed by it in the way adults often are. Most kids, if they aren’t crushed or heavily conditioned are just as fascinated by Death as they are by Life. What I love about them is that place few or no judgments on either Life or Death. I think that is GRAND!! Thank you for making me erupt into laughter.
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Liara Covert Says:
3 November 2009 at 10:51 am.
Another view is you never die. The physical body, perceptions of life and death are illusions. The real you is somethign to be rediscovered beyond all that. It is core consciousness and every being is expanding back into what they have temporarily forgotten.
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Robin Easton Reply:
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:22 am
Dear Liara, YES! Absolutely. I agree with you and will touch on this in part five of this series. This is a reality I came to in the Australian rainforest.
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Dorothy Stahlnecker Says:
10 November 2009 at 2:14 pm.
Robin, and you think I’m gutsy…huh…you make me seem tame…what a wonderful mention and now I shall read everyone’s comments..sorry I’ve been away…hugs to you my friend..
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
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gene Says:
4 December 2009 at 3:05 pm.
Well, how are you friend?? Been a long time! Have some catching up to do here Awesome topic/series.. Looking forward to reading the other instalments!!
There was a time that I knew exactly how I wanted to go, and what must happen etc etc etc.. But I’m not sure anymore!!
I am sure though that I want to be cremated.. There isn’t enough space on this earth left for all the humans, let alone all the graves, so cremation for me!! But my ashes? I do not know, thought maybe throw it in the sea, or somewhere in the bush, close to nature..
Still have to make up my mind about that one!!
To tell you the truth.. It feels like I’m being cremated as we speak!! It’s soooo soooo soooooo Hot here! Summer is crazy here… and how is your WINTER??? LOL
What I thought would happen is happening…I want winter back!! Please pass it along, tell Winter I miss it!! Hurry!!!
Hope you are doing well!!
she….no he!!!
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Robin Easton Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 7:21 am
Dear Trish, I just LOVED this comment. It made me laugh and shed a whole new light on this profession. You are a remarkable lady who is so multi-faceted. I value highly this comment because it is original, filled with humanity, and it sheds light on a profession that is either not talked about or is shunned or is the object of many jokes. One of the main things I got out of it was how wonderfully fragile and vulnerable and intimate and unique human beings are. I am always touched by them. These are delightful stories and in so many ways reflect our humanity. I am deeply touched by that. And yes, I too relate to whatever works for the living. Thank you dear Trish for taking the time to share these stories.
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Trish Scott Reply:
October 26th, 2009 at 9:31 am
I was actually a musician most of my life but making ends meet sometimes required desperate measures. Commission sales is a boon to those of us that don’t walk the usual walk because companies hire anyone with a pulse and just throw them out in the world to do their best – or their worst.
I liked some of these insurance type jobs for a time because of the intimate nature of the interviews. As you say here how “wonderfully fragile and vulnerable and intimate and unique human beings are.” I was a good “closer” because I understood that people just want to be loved and acknowledged for their unique beauty and I gave them that. The high powered guys couldn’t believe my closing ratio. For that very reason though, I couldn’t stand it for long because I didn’t like having that much control over peoples actions just because I had the key. I have noticed you are good with that key too
but you use it for good not evil LOL.
Anyway, good or evil, this is the main thing I got from that job. One of the areas people had a choice about was whether they would prefer to be prepared for burial by the funeral home or by family members. Now the thought of preparing someone myself just gave me the creeps but in my short time with that job I found several people who had indeed prepared their family members for burial. They shared with me the wonderful sense of loving, caring, closeness & joy they felt in this final act of loving kindness. The wonder of their experience was written all over their faces as they shared this with me. It was a lot like your fly catcher memorial as a matter of fact. Beautiful. So I think, from these stories, that we have cut off much of our natural humanity by making death such a horrendous thing that we have to hire others to perform this last loving deed.
In working with animals I work with a lot of people dealing with the grief of losing their dear animal friends. It may be my one best mission to help people to understand that life is life is life whether you have a body or not and that the species of the body isn’t all that important either
.
Sorry this reply is so long, Robin, but it’s your fault for bringing up the subjects you do
)). Thanks.
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