Robin Replies
Hello Dear Miguel de Luis, WOW!! So few words but SO powerful. I love this comment. It both made me smile and also go: YES!!! I loved to hear you say how it takes courage to love in the presence of hate. It really does because on a deep level we all tend to fear rejection. I saw that truth many years ago when I started to reach out to people even when they were angry, cold, surrounded with rigid walls, and it took a lot of courage on my part. And yet, I was SO glad that I still reached out and loved. I realized one day that I had to do it for me. If I were on my deathbed I would regret that I had not. It’s made me a better person. Thank you for sharing your Star Trek wisdom here. It is delightful!!!

Robin Replies
Hey my dear friend, So good to see you again!! I had to read this quote a few times to let it really sink in. Then I smiled as it’s really quite true. And then I LOVE the part that you added about putting our energy into why we are loved. I think one of the most powerful ways to do that is through gratitude, being thankful every day for all the good things in our lives, from food right on down to our friends. So even if someone doesn’t know WHY they are loved, they can still be thankful that they ARE loved, fed, clothed, have a home, good friends, etc. Thank you for inspiring me tonight. I love it. )

And you love your children very much. So its much less complicated in the long run to just take the whole pile of negative emotions and shovel it overboard. Let it drift off into the bull rushes and start over again.

I love to focus on things that sparkle and hate does not have that quality. But only when someone has been in my heart and then stopped sparkling do I feel threatened by hate. And that is why Robin is my hero. Because she lets the whole world into her heart and somehow is not threatened by any of it. And she is in my heart and will always be a welcome guest there.

Robin Replies
Dear David, This really moved me deeply. I think it is the honesty in which you shared it. And I think you speak of a human condition that many others will relate to. The sequence that you share about divorce is very poignant and one I’ve heard many people express or seen them go through. —You mention humility. I like that. I think when we can HONESTLY look at and admit our own failings, faults, mistakes, etc. and really see them, AND embrace them without shying away, then we can more easily embrace other people’s mistakes and humanity. We humans are funny creatures. We can be so quick to point the finger and just as quick to forget the mistakes and pain we may have caused others. It really is a very healing and useful tool to embrace and remember our own humanity. We are then better able to understand and embrace all humanity. —And Dear David, I am profoundly touched by your insight into me and your kind heartfelt words. This whole sharing is simply a gift that I cherish. Thank you my very sincere friend.

This article is so good and healing I wondered if you’d like to guest post this on grammology? If so you have my email contact me and send the article with whatever else (your photo) you’d like and we’ll make sure we give you a link and track back.

Blessings to a wise and lovely women..my best Dorothy

Robin Replies
Oh Dear Dorothy, this is simply beautiful, honest and straight from your heart. I treasure it and will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I too wish I’d read something like this post years ago. It is only after much pain, growth and learning that I come to better understand the dynamics of forgiveness, even forgiving someone who is unable to forgive. I learned a lot about the negative repercussions of “keeping score”, “who forgives first, who doesn’t, who did what, said what, etc”.

There is an interesting article about a Native Hawaiian healer who healed whole ward of severely mentally ill patients simply by forgiving them. He never even saw them face to face. At the least the article invites us to think about the possibilities. Here is the link: How Dr Len Healed a ward of mentally ill criminals with Hooponopono.

I am deeply touched by your sharing here and my heart goes out to you with love and respect. Thank you for sharing.

There is no tool more powerful than forgiveness to open our lives to new possibilities. As you so well state, forgiveness is not something we do for the other person. We free ourselves of the burden of resentment and hatred allowing us to move out of the pain and into the possibilities of the present moment.

It took me years to understand how profound a change we can have through the magic of forgiveness. There are always triggers that will try to lure us back into the past but we can redirect them with mindfulness that they are only thoughts.

Jack Kornfield, one of my favorite teachers, once said: “Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past”. This pretty much says it all.

Bless you Robin for the insight and love you give the world.

Roger

Robin Replies
Dear Roger, What a beautiful, thoughtful and wise comment. I am honored to see you here and very very pleased….especially considering your busy schedule. I like what you wrote about the present moment. Yes. We can become so trapped in the past that we completely miss the present moment, for some people an entire lifetime is lost to the past. I do not judge anyone’s path or choices. However I do encourage myself and others to let go and live. Because as you said in Jack Kornfield’s quote, “Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past”. That is one powerful quote, one of THE most powerful I’ve ever heard. A real gem. One that I think will be useful to many people. It invites us to look at deeper truths and realities that can often seem too harsh to accept, especially the reality that we can’t undo the past. But we can create each moment anew. We have a whole blank slate in front of us. —-Also Roger, thank you for you very generous and kind words. I truly am honored. I’ve been to your beautiful site and recently added it to my RSS feed. Many blessings. Robin

Again, what a great post. Indeed, forgiveness is a gift to our self, not to the one we forgive. Your post reminds me of one of my favorite quotes on forgiveness, from one of my fave writers, Richard Paul Evans:

“Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.”

Thank you so much with this post, my dear friend. I so love what I see inside of you.

Much love and respect,

Sherma

Robin Replies
Dear Sherma, It is always so good to see you here. And I know that you understand love and forgiveness deeply. I have seen it in all your writing. You have one of the most amazing souls, so filled with light, innocence, freedom and compassion. —-I just LOVE this quote. I had not heard it before and it so fits. Thank you for sharing it. I will also have to look into Richard Paul Evans. —I want to thank you for your kindness here today and over all the time we’ve known each other. You are a true free spirit. Your generous words bring joy. I am grateful that you “see”. You always do. Much love and respect for you too dear one. Robin

I know this might seem strange coming from a person that has not exactly had the cards fall her way, but I do always forgive as quick as the “injustice” has occurred. Now to make sense of the “why” of it all is a different story. I can drive myself nuts trying to figure out “who, what , when, where, and why.”

I don’t place blame. My mindset is such that if something has occurred, no matter how bad, it just happened. Why blame? Why throw stones?

I guess this is why I get so confused when people get on the subject of their personal beliefs. Many want to “cast the first stone” which is so wrong. If we would all listen the world does make sense. We are all given our trials and tribulations. I do agree that in childhood is where this begins. We are taught to forgive and just accept things without question. I do believe in questioning because it helps one to understand the “why” of it all.

I have gone full circle with a simple explanation. To me, if I have been wronged then I expect the other party to give me an honest answer to whatever I may need to take comfort. Then, it is up to me to process this and move on. If I cannot get an honest answer then I forgive and let it be. I don’t blame. I just want to move right along. Life is so short. Life is not meant to be wasted.

Many have said that I don’t stand up for myself. I don’t agree. I always make my stance heard, I just don’t argue it.

Lovely, lovely post. I have so enjoyed reading the comments as well.

Love to you Robin.

Robin Replies
Dear Tammy, I tend to be like you. If I’ve been wrong. I have to look at it at and say, “Okay it happened. That’s that. Now, is there anyway I can prevent if from happening again? What can I learn from this? How can I grow? AND I allow myself to clear out any emotions I feel about it with a safe and trusted friend, or simply by myself, so that I am not carrying anything with me. I like to let go of things. When we hang onto anger, hate resentment, and who did what, etc. then we miss out on the present moment. We’re still back there trying to get retribution or trying to undo something that can’t be undone. This is not to say that extreme pain or trauma has to be “just let go of”, no, I think we can explore what happened and if needs be have a professional help us work our way through the pain until we can let go. —-For myself, I find that hanging onto things drains me and is a waste of my life. So I relate strongly to what you are saying here. I think one reason some people can’t understand this in you is that it can take a long time for some people to let go. But I always think of that old saying: “Pick your battles wisely.” Or however it goes…. Yes, life is short and it’s important to not lose site of what is IMPORTANT!! —Thank you for your encouragement and kind words….and I agree the comments here are just precious gems from the human heart. Beautiful hearts. Love to you too, Robin

Another thing I forgot to mention is that we very often forget that inherent in difficult interpersonal relations, our hurts are simply signals pointing out things we’re to learn. Railing against what we’re meant to look deeply at, to discover within ourselves and gently release and unnecessary is certainly self-defeating! If we look from a different perspective at what occurs, we can gain the understanding that these situations are just as much about US rather than the other. If we put our attention to ourselves, we are automatically not judging another as any “cause” for our discomfort. They are simply the instruments, the teachers, delivering Spirit’s signals to us. Seen this way, these situations are actually very loving experiences!!

Love,
~Julie

Robin Replies
Oh dear Julie, this is TRULY beautiful and wise. It is exactly how I try to look at every situation that comes my way. If I don’t, I miss valuable opportunities for growth, expanded insight and love. This is soooooooooo powerful what you wrote and is a a very fundamental key to rapid evolution and as well as for REALLY living in the moment, really living the journey and not staying stuck in trying to control the world for our own expected outcome. You are just brilliant. This is going to be one potent book you are writing. For me life is ALL about learning.

You wrote: “If we put our attention to ourselves, we are automatically not judging another as any “cause” for our discomfort. They are simply the instruments, the teachers, delivering Spirit’s signals to us. ” Yes, yes, yes, if we put our attention to ourselves, we start to take full responsibility for our lives, our responses and our choices. We become very empowered. We stop fighting and controlling life and start embracing all the opportunities that are coming our way. In fact we open the door WIDE on opportunity. So beautiful my friend. I am grateful you shared this. Just beautiful. Love, Robin